Eat Malay food
Malaysian curries are fiery feasts for the tastebuds!
Dining etiquette varies vastly in different parts of the world. In some cultures a hearty belch at the end of a meal signifies a satisfactory repast, while in others it is considered the height of rudeness and deemed the behaviour of a savage. When meeting Malays, and especially when dining in their home, it is important to bear in mind certain rules to avoid inadvertently causing offence.
Remember that all Malays are Muslim so there will be no alcohol, non-halal meat, and especially no pork served during any mealtimes. And remember that Malay food is normally pretty spicy so it is wise to always try a small morsel before devouring a huge mouthful and causing a scene by coughing and spluttering. For more on etiquette in Kuala Lumpur.
Setting and pre-meal etiquette
A typical Malay house in a rural setting is constructed on stilts and have a flight of stairs leading up to a main entrance hall. Visitors should take off their shoes and even clean their feet at the door with any available apparatus, such as a water hose or large clay pot called a tempayan.
Malay feasts are traditionally set out on a square tablecloth (saprah) in the middle of the floor. Once all the expected guests are seated around this the food is brought in. Men are expected to sit cross-legged (bersila) while women sit with their feet together to one particular side, normally the right. This can be an uncomfortable position to hold for the unexperienced! Normally in Malaysia meals are not served course by course but all at the same time.
But first it is important to wash. Each guest cleans his right hand using a small bowl filled with water or a ketor - jug containing water for cleaning with large bowl underneath to catch excess liquid. This should be tipped over your right hand as your left is never used to handle food, being reserved exclusively for toilet ablutions.
Malaysian food is an awesome mix of tastes
As is the region’s custom, rice forms the main basis of any Malay meal but there will be a number of dishes to accompany it. Dishes such as curries, which contain a sauce or gravy, will be served with a spoon, while dry dishes, such as rotis, can be torn off from the communal dish with each guest’s right hand. Unless it is a small, intimate dinner, or an honoured couple are being welcomed together, women and children eat in a separate area to the men.
During the meal
Remember in Malaysia every grain grain of rice is considered sacred and so you should be careful only to take as much as you want to consume and to clean your plate. As in the West, it is considered impolite to talk with your mouth full, so eat with small bites and swallow before speaking.
Should two guests move towards a particular dish at the same moment, the elder of the pair would be given the honour of first serving. If you have tasted something that was not to your liking just leave it on the side of your plate rather than returning it to the communal dish. Shells, bones and other non-edible detritus can also be placed at the side of your plate or in a special platter if provided.
Food should never be placed by itself on the floor in respect for the sacred belief that God provides. It is also extremely bad manners to point or motion towards anyone or the food with your feet. Beverages are normally offered along with the meal although it is considered more polite to clean your plate before drinking.
The breaking of fast (buka puasa)
Mealtime is a real family event in Malaysia
It is a great honour for non-Muslims to be invited for the breaking of fast during the holy month of Ramadan. Buka puasa normally started as the sun begins to set, a little after 19:00 depending on the precise location. Guests arrive around 20 minutes ahead of dinner time and it is good manners to contribute a dish to the feast, no pork or non-halal meat though.
Everyone normally starts eating with a few dates in order to prepare the stomach which has been empty for a little over 12 hours. Then water is taken and everyone continues eating as they wish. Normally only a little food is taken at first before the Maghrib prayer, then the full meal can commence without the fear of an upset stomach from indulging too quickly.
Modern mealtime etiquette in Malaysia
Despite the adoption of tables, chairs and modern trappings of a Western nature, the same basic table manners are followed in modern Malay homes. Forks and spoons appear commonly, although knives are not usually used for eating. If offered canapes or snacks do not ‘double dip’ food in any communal sauce after you have already tasted it.
It is considered impolite to take the last piece of food on a serving dish. If there is only one piece left, the second portion should be replaced and then both taken by the different parties at the same time. There is a superstition in Malay custom that any young lady who takes the last piece from a dish is selfish and will never find her perfect love match.
